ok. i'll give in - here's my goals for 2010 (notice I said - goals - and not resolutions - goals to me are more powerful)...now before i actually write them down, here's my trouble with this sort of thing, i don't normally do this ... meaning actually writing down my plans/goals. i'm the type to decide to do something in my own mind but don't really like to tell others. i guess, if i end up not doing that certain thing i've decided to do, then it's only me who knows. if I actually say it out loud, that means it has more weight - maybe that's why all the experts say to write your goals down and I read something the other day that said you're suppose to TELL someone - scary...so even though I have very few people (OK, one other person than myself) who read my postings, i'm still writing them down and in a sense telling someone and that makes my goals a lot more concrete.
so here ya go (there's not many):
1) getting up during the week at 5:00. this is a must because it allows me to pursue my next two goals...
2) be consistantly studying The Word. this means at least five days a week, reading a passage from the Bible. now this may seem very vague (ok, it is) but it's just a start while i figure out how to actually do that. my struggle lately has been figuring out what to actually study. so that's the "b)" part of this goal - find a study or something.
3) exercise at least five days a week with the ultimate goal of weighing 140. my current weight is 154 so that's 14lbs.
4) determine how to stay home with my family more - this could be a lot of things - work part-time, work from home, work in the school system - something that doesn't take me away from the family 40+ hours a week. something that will allow me to be home when syd gets home. something that will allow me to be home with them during spring break, summers, Christmas break. the project at Western will be finished in September of this year and as of right now, there are no other jobs lined up after that. this could mean i will be in the main office a couple days a week or they may let me work part time while Chemeketa finishes. i really don't know. right now, financially we couldn't make it work if i only worked part time. so....
5) be more organized with my families activities: think through what is happening, what needs to happen or what's coming up - what does ryan & sydney need to get done for homework, what's happening this week, next week, etc., birthday is coming up, plan a scrap weekend with the girls, make dinner plans with friends...be more intentional!!!!
6) and the big one is - to be come healthier. i've already addressed the exercise thing so that's not what i mean. life hasn't been very enjoyable lately. i have a lot of thoughts floating around in my head and a lot of them aren't good. i've learned some things about someone over the past two years and i am struggling with how to process that. i can't do it on my own and i know i need God's guidance (hence goal #2) but i also need to talk with someone who will help me process what i'm discovering. i want to be better - i want to enjoy the gifts that i've been given to their fullest extent and i feel as though i can't do that right now. i hate to use the word depressed but that's the only tag line i can give it. when you think you learn who someone REALLY is and it's such an eye opener, can you ever go back? are you just inventing something that's really not there or has it been there all along and you just didn't want to see it. sorry, sort of rambling - so basically, i need to see a counselor.
well, goodness gracious, that's a lot of things. as Yoda would say, "there is no try, there is only do" - was i close...
