unknown...

today Syd had a play date with her buddy from brush college.  we were a little early so I told her we were going to drive around for a while.  we drove by her old school, we drove by one of the last houses we built and syd said "...I think we only have one more memory to think about" then we turned down the road where we were going to buy property and build a house.  within walking distance to brush college ... syd said "oh, another memory" ... with a sad voice.  she was voicing all the things I was thinking about.  the property is still for sale but we will never be able to buy it ... it's not an option anymore - that's really hard to deal with.   one of the hardest things to come to terms with is realizing your hopes and dreams may not come true.  and , it's so petty ... that's the other thing.  i know this...there are so many people who have to handle/deal with much bigger  - larger - enormous - things than not being able to buy a piece of property and build a house and walk you daughter to school. give me a break ... why is it so hard to let go.  why is it so hard to see the blessings in life ... we are so blessed ... why do I need to dwell on the negative.  it's hard because my whole life up to this point has had endless possibilities - now I can see the boundaries and that's really scary ... learning how to live within those boundries.  learning how to shine within those boundries - i don't know ... Lord, show me the way - guide me down this path - lead me to where you want me ... help me to see You ... show me ...